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IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT

Updated: Mar 18

We can't begin to talk about nutrition without acknowledging the factors that have contributed to what you eat today.



What does this mean?


Many of the factors above are not and were not in your control. Its important to understand the things that are not your fault. Even the ones that you currently want to change. We like to look harshly back at ourselves with contempt. This is why the weight loss industry and diet culture are thriving. We think we should not trust ourselves. We're the ones who got us into this.


This distrust of ourselves allows us to be vulnerable. We think that someone else has the answers, surely they seem to be doing better. And they are my friend, they wouldn't sell me something they didn't believe in, right? The truth? Your friend is indifferent, what you don't hate you'll tolerate. And she's already doing it, why do you think she cares more about you than herself? Especially when there's money to be made and she can now justify her plight.


If you sit down and think about what you consider a healthy diet to be does it contain powdered food, meal replacements, pre workout? Why are we settling for just meh?

Because it is easier to buy into a program we know might fail us. It's easier because we can say, "that wasn't for me" or " maybe I'll start again when things aren't so busy". It's much easier than assessing if we trust ourselves. That is way too vulnerable. We prefer throwing out money and having those excuses to saying "I'm accountable for my health".


What if I first told you it's not your fault. All of those factors on that iceberg both seen and unseen are not your fault. This is the only moment you know what you currently know. Stop looking back and accepting blame for all the things you did or didn't know prior.


So, who's fault is it?


No one's fault. There were so many factors out of your control, we make them mean something, we make them mean its our fault. We take them personally, it doesn't occur to us that everyone is always doing the best that they can, that includes us. When we get so wrapped up in it being our fault we give our power away. We become like when Rachel put Monica in charge of making her decisions. We all feel like that. And unfortunately we are ultimately the ones that have to make our decisions and live with them. Even if you can't wrap your head around the fact that it's not your fault yet, keep chewing on it. There's a reason you're curious about it. Keep thinking about it for the next few days, if you hate it at least you tried something new.


We incorrectly think that we can shame and punish our way to a body we want. What if we could start to reconnect with ourselves instead. The reason you want to outsource is because you don't trust yourself. You and everyone else. Self help, productivity, morning routines, daily routines, time blocking, budgeting, oh man budgeting came up RUN! These categories are exploding, no one was talking about organization before. We have added so many different pressures and expectations onto ourselves without stopping to check, "Is this working for me?"


And that is why it is not your fault.


Cool, now what?

  1. Immediately unfollow anything on social media or your real life that doesn't bring you value. Be ruthless, this is your life. Start using the money you save from not seeing the next thing the brands you follow dropped in the stores and using it exactly how you want.

  2. Start to get aquainted with the produce section. You don't have to buy anything the first time. What's that? You love blackberries? Exactly. Now write down all the produce that you thought off. Next time you go grocery shopping pick up those items and eat them that week.

  3. Pay attention to how you feel. What does that mean? It means noticing when you start to feel like you need to eat right now or you're going to be in a Snickers commercial and next time eat 30 minutes earlier. Notice when you become intolerable to yourself, recognize we are meant at a minimum designed to be tolerable to ourselves. Go eat something.

  4. Become solution oriented, but first realize the problem is never what you think it is. Can't stop eating when you get home from work? Try an afternoon snack. Get curious. I'll bet you'll think of 3 solutions this week.

  5. Pay attention to how you feel. It's not a typo, and start to notice if the food choices you would like to eat are available to you throughout your day. Can you find an easy solution?

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2020 Maria Paone Nutrition